My 660 Children

        Well here in China it's Friday but we have Dragon Boat Festival next week so we are teaching Mondays classes today. As I woke up this morning all I could think was 'God help me' I was more then a little tired and not really feeling the teaching thing this morning. I came down to my office to have one of my little 3rd grade boys come in the office. He handed me a note that I thought was from his teacher. I opened it to find the following:

     Dear Becky,
            I love you so much. I hope you don't go. Becky, you teach we every week, we play in study, study in play. Take care.
              That boy always raise the hand up.
                                  Jimmy


        My heart is about to burst at this point. I am already dreading leaving China and my babies when a little girl, Alice hands me a note as well. It's written in Chinese so I can't read it (have to had Amy translate for me).  I have to go teach a class and I come back from the class to more notes on my desk.

                 Becky~
                      I love you! and miss you, I ever miss you! You like a mum! We all love you. We love your class.
                               Love you's      Laura


       I am most assuredly leaving my heart in Wuhan, China. This is my fuel these little notes on the days that grad school (waiting to be accepted, paperwork is all in takes 2 weeks for an answer)  just seems like it is too much. I am going to give it everything I have to come back to my babies in China. Granted I doubt I will ever come back to WEFLS but if I can come back to Hangyang I can see how they are doing. I made up my mind in the beginning of this school year to love these kiddos extravagantly like the Father loves me. At first I wasn't sure if it was making a difference but now I know that it did. I have 660 children (give or take a few) that I call mine...yes even the 4th grade boys. I am going to miss them so very much but I will leave them in the hands of a very capable Father.  Hard goodbyes are never easy but I have learned that C.S. Lewis was right when he wrote:

         

       “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”  The Four Loves

      I will feel  pain as I have to  let go of my little ones, but I rather feel that pain then for my heart to be so cold and dead that it has become irredeemable. China has changed me, these kiddos have changed me and I will miss both. I know that the seperation is temporary-- but that still is not making it any easier to say goodbye to people. Honestly when I get back to the States I need lots of hugs and a shoulder to cry on.  I say farewell for now knowing that the Father's love in me made a difference to some pretty amazing kiddos in China.